


malleability

by fnowae



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Crack, Crack Fic, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, based on a tumblr prompt, why do I do this???, yeah this is Weird As Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 18:57:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11880741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fnowae/pseuds/fnowae
Summary: Based on a tumblr prompt:Person A is secretly a living stuffed animal. Instead of having bones and muscle, they have cotton. Person B doesn't know that A is a living plush, but they just recently started dating. While hanging out, B accidentally falls on A and because of this B feels the softness and squishyness of A's cotton moving inside. A is a little afraid that their secret is out and B won't like them as much as they did but B just continues to hug and cuddle with their super soft and squishy partner.





	malleability

**Author's Note:**

> this is fuckinf weird as shit but also cute so leave me the fuck alone
> 
> SHAMELESS SELF PROMO TIME: this prompt was one sent in to my prompt blog (otpprompting) which is meant specifically for crack prompts. you should give me a follow ;)
> 
> with that out of the way: enjoy!

Joe is a man on a mission. 

His mission? Proving to his annoying friends that it's possible to meet someone completely normal on an online dating site. 

Mission status? Fucking amazing. 

Patrick is everything Joe has ever wanted in a boyfriend - he's smart and nice and talented and funny and just snarky enough for it to be endearing rather than irritating. Not to mention he's damn cute, and - something Joe will forever hold over his anti-online-dating friends' heads - looks exactly like the photo on his profile did. 

So, basically, Patrick is a dream come true for Joe. 

Pete and Andy, ever the pessimists when it comes to Joe being right, had continuously mentioned that Patrick could still be harboring some weird secret - "he probably has a spoon fetish, like he fucks spoons and shit, I don't know, that's probably a thing" according to Pete, while Andy has stuck to the ever-popular "I don't know, man, he's probably just a serial killer". But Joe isn't having it. Patrick is his perfect guy, with no drawbacks, and no flaws. 

Well, except for this one _tiny thing_ that's a little bit weird. Only a little - and not a serial killer level of weird, certainly not a spoon fetish level. (How the fuck does Pete think this shit up, anyway?) It's just...Joe has kind of noticed that Patrick seems to have a sort of aversion to touching. Like, not completely - Joe has (loosely) held his hand and kissed him and they've hugged a couple times, but - well, anything else and Patrick will freak out, darting away from Joe and feigning sickness. Joe would ask, really, but...he's so scared that he'll end up proving his friends right, that he'll discover Patrick really _does_ have some sort of terrible spoon-fetish-serial-killer level secret that he's been hiding. 

So he doesn't ask. He just tells himself that Patrick likes personal space, and that's fine. Joe gets that. He's not one to judge. So what if Patrick literally pushes him off when he hugs him even a tiny bit too hard? He's not looking to make his poor boyfriend uncomfortable. He's fine with it. Really, he is. 

He does find out, eventually, but not because he ever asks. It's really all an accident. 

Patrick is hanging out at Joe's apartment, and they're having a movie marathon, watching whatever comes to either of their minds. It's the perfect date, in Joe's opinion. Pete and Andy can suck it - Patrick is the perfect normal boyfriend. 

At least, he is up until the point when Joe trips while completing a popcorn run and tumbles, popcorn and all, onto the couch, straight onto Patrick. 

Joe had squeezed his eyes shut the second he had started to fall, unable to watch as he landed on his personal-space-obsessed boyfriend, injuring at least one but probably both of them. His first though is that he's going to crush poor Patrick underneath him, which really isn't great, because either he's gonna break his boyfriend's bones and get himself a lawsuit, or he's going to get jabbed in the gut by an elbow, and either way someone's getting hurt. 

When he lands, eyes still squeezed shut, he's at first certain that he hasn't landed on Patrick at all - somehow, he must have missed him and landed on the couch pillows instead, because that's what it feels like he's ended up on. 

Except then something shifts under him, and he hears Patrick's voice, hushed, from beneath him. 

"Joe," he whispers shakily, "could you get off?"

Joe frowns, eyes still closed, that request greatly perplexing him, because he is not on Patrick. He could not possibly be on Patrick. He can't feel a body under him. Just-

Joe opens his eyes and...he is, frankly, very confused. 

Patrick is under him, all right. But there's a reason Joe had thought he'd hit the couch pillows. Patrick...well, if Joe's honest, basically looks like a pillow. Well, really, that is to say, he looks normal, except for where Joe has landed on him. Under Joe's weight, his body squishes down, feeling soft and pliable beneath Joe, like it's filled with stuffing instead of bones and organs. Joe gapes down, unsure what the fuck to do now. 

_Well_ , he thinks fleetingly, _at least it's not a spoon fetish._

"Joe," Patrick repeats, his voice a little louder but still strained, "Please get off."

Joe obeys absently, pushing himself off the couch and off of Patrick. When he gets up and relieves the pressure on Patrick's midsection, Patrick looks completely normal again. But Joe isn't about to just forget what he's seen. 

"Wha - what?" he stutters, watching with wide eyes as Patrick slowly stands up off the couch. 

"I'm gonna - I'm gonna go now," Patrick says faintly, backing away from Joe as Joe stares after him. 

"Wait!" Joe cries when he realizes that Patrick is actually trying to go for the door. He throws an arm out and grabs Patrick tightly by the wrist. It doesn't help that Patrick's wrist gives under Joe's grasp just like his middle had earlier. 

"Joe," Patrick says again softly, voice thin and strained. "Please let go."

Joe doesn't. He keeps his eyes trained on Patrick's wrist, where it squishes down under his hand. There should be a bone there stopping that from happening - there should, right? He speaks with great restraint, worried he's going to say something that will make Patrick try and bolt again, "Okay, uh...I'm not letting go until I find out why the fuck it's doing that."

Patrick's eyes fall to Joe's hand as well, and he sighs, relenting reluctantly. "Okay. Okay, fine."

Joe squeezes lightly at Patrick's wrist again, watching, mesmerized, as it continues to give under the pressure. He holds his stare as he asks weakly, "What is _in_ there?"

It's sort of a hypothetical question, but Patrick answers immediately anyway. 

"Cotton," he says, voice hushed. He keeps watching as Joe keeps staring at his wrist in slack-jawed wonder. 

"That's...what?" Joe finally drags his gaze up to Patrick's eyes - Patrick's face is full of fear. It makes Joe's stomach twist painfully. 

Patrick doesn't say anything, just keeps staring, so Joe continues, "You're not kidding, are you?"

Patrick shakes his head weakly, lips pressed tightly together as if he's trying to force himself to stay quiet. Joe wonders briefly what he would be saying right now if he wasn't. 

"Huh." Joe finally releases Patrick's arm from his grip, and he's relieved when Patrick doesn't try to run again. He frowns. "Uh, may I ask...why?"

Patrick shakes his head, drawing his arm back to himself and tensing up. "I don't _know_ , okay? It's just - it's just a thing. It's not..." His eyes are full of pain as he whispers, "Don't leave."

Joe's eyes go even wider, if that's even possible at this point. His confusion is suddenly his last priority, overtaken by his concern for his boyfriend. "Oh, fuck, Patrick, no! I'm not leaving! I'm not going anywhere!"

"You're...not?" Patrick asks slowly, relaxing slightly, but still mostly tense. "But...but this is...this is _weird_."

Joe nods, not about to lie and disagree with that. "Yeah. It kind of is, and I still don't completely get what's going on. But - but this isn't something I'm going to leave you over. I promise. And besides," he adds, just as it occurs to him, "this just means you're probably the best cuddler ever."

A tiny bit of blush spreads across Patrick's cheeks as he breathes out, "You...really?"

"I may have no idea what's going on, but this isn't worth leaving you over," Joe tells him sincerely. He extends an arm welcomingly and offers, "C'mere."

Patrick hesitates, but finally concedes, stepping forward and cautiously letting Joe take him into his arms. Joe hugs him like he'd been wishing Patrick would let him ever since they met, and feels why Patrick wouldn't let him before, feels the abnormal give of Patrick's body under the pressure of his arms. But it's really not a bad thing, now that he thinks about it. Hugging Patrick is the softest experience of his fucking life. 

"Is this okay?" he asks worriedly, hoping this isn't uncomfortable for Patrick. 

"Yeah," Patrick mumbles gently. "Thank you."

"No fucking problem," Joe responds, smiling as he just hugs Patrick tighter. 

///

The next morning, Joe wakes up with Patrick snuggled into his side. He's pretty sure this is the best feeling he's ever had in his life - sleeping with Patrick reminds him of sleeping with all the stuffed animals he had as a child - soft, warm, and comforting. (Maybe it's because Patrick is basically a larger, more human version of one of those stuffies, or maybe it's just because Patrick is the fucking best. The world may never know.)

Just then, Joe's phone buzzes on his nightstand, and he rolls over, snatching it up and checking it. It's from Pete. 

_have u found out his dark secret yet?? i know there is one I'm telling u_

Joe rolls his eyes at the text, eyes shifting to Patrick, still sleeping silently in his bed. 

He turns back to his phone and types out a quick reply. _Yeah I found the secret. It's that he's the cuddliest guy in the world._

He sighs and sets the phone back down, rolling back over to Patrick with a lazy smile on his face. 

Pete and Andy can fuck off. This is the best dark secret he's ever fucking heard of.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual if u send me headcanons for this 'verse at my Tumblr (@vicesandvelociraptors) I will love you forever thank you
> 
> thanks for reading !


End file.
